


a christmas miracle

by forestfloor



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Christmas, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21513502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestfloor/pseuds/forestfloor
Summary: A Christmas reunion. A few moments on Christmas day.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 5
Kudos: 125





	a christmas miracle

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is an AU now, since they got together again last night. Wanted to post it anyway, since this is my first ever fic and I had a lot of fun writing it.

It's not so much a white Christmas as it is a wet Christmas. The drizzling rain covers the village in a hazy grey blanket, the Christmas music Tracy had put on being an unwelcome reminder of what day it is.  
  
She had dreaded this day to be honest, having to spend it without Charity and the kids. Tracy had tried to cheer her up, putting up the Christmas tree with Johnny and covering the house with enough lights to make it stand out from space.  
  
They were sitting on the sofa. Johnny was wearing his Christmas onesie, Rudolph's plushy antlers slightly sticking out and his red nose lighting up once in a while.  
  
The bell rings and Vanessa looks at Tracy in confusion, silently asking whether she had invited anyone over. Tracy shakes her head and starts to stand up, but Vanessa stops her and goes to the door instead.  
  
"Maybe it's Rhona. I thought she'd be with Graham, but maybe she is stopping by for a bit." Vanessa looks back over her shoulder as she says it, uncertainty on her face. And dread, if she is being honest. She loves Rhona, but she is kind of wallowing in self pity right now and she is not looking forward to more people trying to cheer her up.  
  
Moses' excited face is the first thing she sees when she opens the door. She hears Charity cough and looks up.  
  
"So, we were wondering if you wanted to spend Christmas with us babe?"  
  
Moses is jumping up and down now, barely able to conceal his excitement.  
  
"It's okay if you don't want to, we can go."  
  
Charity looks at her with big eyes and questioning eyebrows. She has a big duffel bag in her hands, poorly hidden behind her back. Filled with presents maybe? Vanessa's heart jumps at the thought of Charity buying them all presents, even when they where broken up. Because let's be real, she definitely hadn't bought them well in advance like Vanessa had suggested.  
  
Let's get the Christmas shopping over with Charity, she had said one day when they were walking hand in hand through Hotten centre. But Charity had laughed and they had gone to a bar, where they had ordered a dirty Martini and watched the regulars get pissed, a corner booth providing them with enough shelter to fool around a bit.  
  
Vanessa is surprised to see them here, at Tug Ghyll, all together, like a family. Like her family. It's not like they hadn't seen each other at all. Moses and Johnny had playdates together sometimes and even Noah had been around.  
  
She had helped him with his biology homework over a milky brew and one of Vanessa's red velvet cakes. She knew it was one of Charity's favourites and baking it was divine self-torture. Like prodding into a stab wound, never letting it heal. Only she wasn't so sure she wanted it to heal, because the distance of time had made the memories even sweeter. Made the thought of waking up together, of snuggling on the sofa, of lazy mornings together even more appealing.  
  
She clears her throat and looks up, her hands fidgeting and her right foot tapping the floor erratically. She had clearly taken too long to answer, because Charity looks nervous and ready to bolt.  
  
It's probably a bad idea, Vanessa thinks. It would only lead to confusion and blurred lines. Johnny had already asked her about Moses and Noah and Sarah and silly Charity. This would only confuse him.  
  
Right?  
  
I should say no, she reckons.  
  
"I would love that, " she says instead.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"It's cold," Vanessa says, with an overblown shiver to emphasize her point.  
  
"Even with all them coats on?" Charity answers with a glorious smirk adorning her face. "You'd think we were on the North Pole."  
  
Vanessa looks at her with narrowed eyes and bumps their hips together. "As if."  
  
Charity pretends to fall, a scowl firmly set on her face. "I hope you're not trying to tackle me babe, because I'd have you on the ground in no time."  
  
Vanessa laughs and graps Charity's arm to help steady her, putting both her arms around Charity's right. They keep walking like this, arms linked and close together.  
  
Against the cold, her mind thinks.  
  
Because it feels like home, her heart offers up.  
  
Either way she doesn't let go.  
  
"Mummy!" Moses screams while running past them, pulling them out of their little bubble. "Help me!"  
  
Johnny passes them a few seconds later, a ball of mud in his hands and his face covered in dirt. They run away from them, followed by Noah, who looks up sheepishly. "I couldn't stop it," he says, brushing some mud of his cheek.  
  
Sarah and Tracy had stayed at Tug Ghyll. Even though it stopped raining, the grey clouds didn't look particularly inviting for a brisk afternoon walk. The boys needed to get rid of some of their energy though, since Charity had fed them an absurd amount of chocolate when Vanessa wasn't looking.  
  
Vanessa turns her head when she hears barking and sees an overexcited golden retriever running towards them. It jumps up on her, leaving muddy paw prints on her black jeans.  
  
She squeezes Charity's arm and lets go, crouching to pet the dog. His tail wags enthusiastically, leaves flying up around them before landing again on the forest floor.  
  
An older woman approaches them, her thin glasses on the tip of her slightly red nose and her grey curls a windswept jungle, hiding her face. "I'm so sorry," she says. "He's quite excitable sometimes."  
  
"It's fine," Vanessa answers, a smile on her face.  
  
She stands up and sees Charity and the woman watching the kids. Their yellow wellies covered in muck and their thick coats more brown than anything. Noah is looking at them from a little distance, like their guardian angel. Well, maybe not so much an angel, but he was there. On Christmas day, walking with his family, playing with his brothers.  
  
"You have a lovely family," the lady says, trying to tame her unruly hair, tucking it behind her ears to no avail.  
  
Vanessa's head spins, this woman thinks they are family. They look like a happy family taking a walk on Christmas day together, kids playing and moms keeping an eye on them. The thought makes her feel proud, even though they aren't a proper family anymore, not really.  
  
"Thanks," she hears Charity respond.  
  
The woman calls for her dog, who had joined the boys and was trodding through the mud. He runs towards them, nearly fibrating with excitement now.  
  
Once he reaches them he grinds to a halt and violently shakes his muddy fur, letting chunks of mud fly everywhere.  
  
The woman apologizes again and they part ways. "Merry Christmas," she says over her shoulder, looking every bit the spitting image of Mrs Claus, with her red coat and a white scarf.  
  
"Merry Christmas," they say in unison.  
  
Vanessa looks at Charity, linking their arms again. She wipes her thumb over Charity's nose. "You have some mud on your face," she says softly.  
  
Charity laughs and looks at her with sparkling green eyes. "You too."  
  
She puts her head on Vanessa's shoulder for just a second. "Let's go home."   
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
Johnny blows on the bubbles in the bath, sending them flying in Moses' face. The sound of giggles fills the bathroom, the last remnants of daylight shining through the bathroom window. A pile of muddy clothes fills up the laundry basket, Moses' blue jumper sticking out slightly.  
  
Vanessa is sitting on the floor next to the bath, jeans wet from the water that splashed over the edge when Johnny and Moses were trying to make the rubber duck swim. She mindlessly graps the small floating bucket, filling it and letting the water rinse away the soap on Johnny's shoulders.  
  
Vanessa is startled out of her thoughts when she hears a knock at the door. Cold air streams in when it opens, revealing Charity leaning against the door frame.  
  
"I can barely see you with all this steam." Charity walks towards them, squatting down next to her. "Are you guys nice and clean already? You have been in here for hours," she teases. An expression of horror flits over Charity's face when her knees hit the floor, nose scrunching adorably in disgust.  
  
"Oh by the way, the floor is a bit wet," Vanessa admits, eyes twinkling with mirth.  
  
Charity turns towards her, eyes narrowed and a plan clearly forming in her head. "You don't say."  
  
Vanessa turns towards the boys, smile adorning her face, as she gently applies shampoo to Moses' hair. She sees Johnny's eyes getting bigger, hears Moses gasping, but only realises what is happening when warm soapy water crashes down on her hair. The messy bun she had put it in sagging towards her shoulders, little locks of hair sticking to her face.  
  
Charity cackles, eyes shining with a happiness Vanessa hasn't seen in them for a long time. Not when they lock eyes in the pub when Charity is working and Vanessa pretends to listen to Rhona's stories about Graham, instead of following Charity's every move. Not when they pass each other in David's shop, Vanessa pretending to be interested in different varietes of milk, while desperately trying to seem perfectly fine with her clenching stomach and raised heartbeat.  
  
Charity looks at ease here, at home even. Like she belongs here in this house, in this bathroom, next to the bath with their giggling boys.  
  
"I look a right state," Vanessa sighs, trying to wipe the hair out of her face.  
  
"No you don't," Charity says, swatting Vanessa's hands away and brushing her hair away. "You look beautiful."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"Noah." Sarah stands up and hands over the present to him, jurking it back when he tries to take it from her.  
  
Noah looks highly unimpressed, a scowl on his face, reminding Vanessa of a grumpy Charity, when she pretends she doesn't care, but she really, really does.  
  
"Hand it over," he replies, sticking his hand out, palm up.  
  
Sarah sits down in her self declared spot on the big chair and leans down, sliding the present towards Noah, who immediately picks it up.  
  
"What if it's breakable?" Tracy pipes up, concern in her voice.  
  
Noah looks up at her. "Then _she_ is paying for a new one, whatever it is." He points at Sarah, who just rolls her eyes and picks her phone up, fingers typing away.  
  
Charity looks annoyed, like she wants to berate Sarah, no doubt leading to a heated argument and someone storming out, no guarantees who will do the storming.  
  
Vanessa leans over on the sofa, softly touching Charity's arm, defusing the bomb that is Charity's fury.  
  
Wrapping paper flies through the room as Noah unpacks his present, a shower of red and green confetti landing on Johnny and Moses, sticking to their slightly damp hair. Both are wearing a pair of Johnny's pyjama's, red and green, making them look like Christmas threw up on them. Moses' pyjama is a bit too small for him, but he doesn't seem to mind, in awe of the mountain of presents their mothers had bought them.  
  
Noah looks up at Charity with gratitude in his eyes and a smile on his lips, nodding slightly, trying to discreetly thank her for the game he had wanted for months, but didn't think she would remember to buy him.  
  
Charity lifts her shoulders and shakes her head. They both look at Vanessa now, surprise on Noah's face and an entirely different expression on Charity's. One that reminds Vanessa of mornings in. When she woke up to Charity looking at her with so much love in her eyes that it would awaken an army of butterflies in her stomach, fluttering violently with the strength of her love for this woman.  
  
Vanessa's cheeks colour, eyes casting down and a smile curling her lips upwards. The presents she had bought months ago, before their split, had lain at the back of her closet, moving with her from house to house, Tug Ghyll being their latest home.  
  
Noah clears his throat as Vanessa looks up at him, his eyes shining and blinking heavily, eyes set in determination to keep the tears at bay.  
  
You're the best step-parent I've ever had, he had said. Best parent full stop, he had added.  
  
I'm so proud to be your parent, she had wanted to say. I love you, just like your mum does, she had wanted to proclaim.  
  
"Thank you," Noah mouths at her now, nodding his head again.  
  
"You're welcome," she whispers back, failing to keep _her_ tears at bay.  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
They are walking the short distance from Tug Ghyll to the Woolpack in silence. The sky is painted with hues of red, orange and pink, slowly fading into a matt black canvas freckled with stars. The wind is making Charity's hair dance, the silver moonbeams her spotlight, tousled strands fighting for a starring role. Every breath they take forms a new white cloud, Vanessa's eyes following their ascend before they fade away.  
  
A shiver runs down her spine making her body shake, the cold wind a pebble, thrown in a lake, rippling through her body. Vanessa wraps her arms tighter around herself, tucking her chin down, trying to keep the swirling wintry air from grasping through her jumper and stealing her body heat.  
  
Charity takes her coat off, draping it over Vanessa's shoulders, her body heat trapped in the long black coat, warming Vanessa instantly.  
  
They keep on walking, the Christmas lights adorning the houses lighting their path, as if frozen fireflies are leading their way.  
  
Rhona steps out of the Woolpack's doorway, moonlight revealing a shadowy twin. Leo follows closely behind, grabbing her hand, waving at Vanessa enthusiastically, a grin spreading across his face. A stark contrast to the disapproving look that flits over Rhona's face as they make eye contact.  
  
Vanessa doesn't care though, because this is how it should be, how she wants it to be, spending Christmas with the people she cares about, the people she loves.  
  
What if it was like this every day, her brain pipes up, betraying the rules she had made, jumping the walls she had built. Her heart its accomplice, speading up, warming her tingling fingertips with hope.  
  
"The food better be ready," she says, opening the Woolpack's door, "because I'm not looking at Chas' scowling face while we wait."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
"Oi, those are mine," Tracy hisses, giving Charity the evil eye, "get your own, they are right there on the table."  
  
Charity laughs and puts her newly acquired potato in her mouth, chewing exaggeratedly in Tracy's direction.  
  
"Those are for everyone Trace," she teases after swallowing her food. "Christmas is about sharing, remember?"  
  
Tracy raises her right hand, holding one finger up, ready to count all the ways in which Charity is wrong. "One, you are in my house. She sticks up a second finger. "Two, you are eating the food I cooked -"  
  
"Marlon cooked the food actually," Charity interrupts, smugness inhabiting her face, mischief residing in her eyes.  
  
"I roasted the potatoes, actually," Tracy returns, "and they were on my plate, so it doesn't matter who made them, they are mine now."  
  
Charity rolls her eyes and looks pointedly at Tracy. "You can have them in two to three days."  
  
Vanessa gasps, almost choking on her Yorkshire pudding. "Allright, I think we get the point," she says, using her paper napkin to wipe some sauce from Moses' chin.  
  
They have been getting along quite well recently, Charity and Tracy, after an initial war of words they had called a truce, even becoming somewhat friendly with each other in the last couple of weeks.  
  
Vanessa knew they talked, heard them discuss Tracy's date with Pete. Tracy had told her one night, after coming home from the Woolpack, how sad Charity was, how heartbroken. That she had told her she would do anything to make it up to Vanessa, to their family. Tracy told her how much Charity had changed, how she was prioritising her family, trying her hardest, how honest she was when talking about their relationship.  
  
She understood, had seen it with her own eyes, how Charity was stepping up to the plate, fighting for her family, realising her own self-worth.  
  
Love doesn't come close to the depth of feeling she has when she thinks about Charity, time having brought some clarity to her mind. It seperated the grief and anger at her dad from the disappointment and betrayal she had felt when Charity lied to her. It softened her edges and made her see how Charity was actually trying to fight for her, that she was being honest, treating her like an equal.  
  
Vanessa feels the butterflies again, swirling in her stomach, their dormancy over, more active than ever.  
  
She looks up. Charity is already looking at her, eyes every hue of the forest, sparkling as if covered in fresh morning dew. Her curls every shade of gold, as if lit by the sun, framing the most beautiful picture she has ever seen.  
  
A masterpiece.  
  
Tracy coughs, looking between them questioningly, moving her scraps of turkey with her fork.  
  
"I asked if you could pass me the carrots," she directs at Vanessa, "since someone took the last potato."  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
"One more story," Johnny whines, "please!"  
  
Moses joins in, a choir of toddlers, singing their one-worded song in squeaky soprano.  
  
"Fine, one more story," Charity relents, "but then it's time to sleep."  
  
She starts reading 'Elmer', taking on different voices, making the boys giggle. They snuggle closer to Charity, Johnny burrowing his head in her shoulder.  
  
He missed her, Vanessa knows, he had told her enough. Whined about wanting to see her, asked when they would go back home, why they left in the first place.  
  
She couldn't explain, everything too raw still, too laden with emotions she didn't want Johnny to see.  
  
They had insisted on a sleepover tonight, their sugar high from the mince pies providing them with enough energy to keep going until Charity and Vanessa caved in. It had been such a nice day, the boys looking happier than they have done in weeks, Moses more and more comfortable after his traumatic kidnapping. They didn't want to ruin that, didn't want the day to end in a strop, having to drag Moses away to Jacobs Fold, crying.  
  
They are at Tug Ghyll alone now, the four of them. Noah and Sarah left after dinner, wanting to spend some time with their friends. They had promised to be home on time and behave themselves. "I'll be smelling you both when you get back, so don't even think abount sneaking a drink, " Charity had said. They had laughed, but Charity had kept staring at them, stern look on her face, until they had vowed not to drink a drop.  
  
Tracy took some more convincing. Vanessa had assured her that it was really okay to leave her alone with Charity for a bit, she wouldn't come back to a murder scene, they would be fine. So she had gone into the night, to David's, leaving them with the washing up to do.  
  
Charity closes the book, the boys already fast asleep, standing up and dropping the softest kiss on Johnny's head.  
  
Vanessa does the same with Moses.  
  
"Goodnight," they whisper softly, slowly walking out the door. Leaving the boys asleep in Johnny's bed, arms around each other, heads sharing one pillow.   
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
"Thank you for coming over today," Vanessa says, taking a sip of her wine, "it's been really nice."  
  
"We have really confused the boys though," Charity sighs, moving to pick her own glass up from the table.  
  
Johnny and Moses had been in spitting distance of each other all day, holding hands when they walked back to the car after their walk, insisting on sitting next to each other at dinner, screaming for a sleepover.  
  
"Have we?" she asks, eyebrows raised in question.  
  
Charity doesn't answer, instead choosing to look into Vanessa's eyes, swirling the wine in her glass, playing with its stem.  
  
The tension is swirling around them, making Vanessa cast her eyes down to their Christmas sock covered feet, almost touching.  
  
She reaches out, hooking her right foot around Charity's left ankle. A silent act of bravery, of building bridges. One bridge.....for now.  
  
Charity's voice wakes her up from her daydream, her face betraying her, because Charity repeats herself immediately. "I said, today's been really great hasn't it?"  
  
Charity's eyes shine again, like they have done so many times today.  
  
Vanessa nods, lips curling up slightly at the edges. There are no words to describe how great today had been, how amazing, how much she wants this feeling back everyday, this feeling of home. "Yeah," she breathes.  
  
"I miss you Ness," Charity's voice barely more than a whisper, "so much." Her confession sounds like more than a statement, like a plea, for Vanessa to return the sentiment, to feel the same way.  
  
Vanessa has to swallow and blink heavily to keep her voice from cracking and her tears from falling. "I miss you too."  
  
Vanessa feels herself moving towards Charity, as if the Earth lost all its appeal, gravity pulling her towards Charity instead.  
  
She pushes Charity's knees down, straddling her hips, trying to keep her racing heart under control.  
  
Charity looks surprised, her shaking hands pulling Vanessa closer. Her eyelashes flutter as Vanessa tucks a stray curl behind her ear, letting her hand brush over Charity's cheek, thumb softly caressing her jaw.  
  
Vanessa's eyebrows lift in question, silently asking for consent, asking if this is what Charity still wants as well, even though she thinks she knows the answer.  
  
Charity nods slowly, her eyes dark, lowering to Vanessa's lips, a hand coming up to caress her cheek carefully, Charity's thumb grazing her lips.  
  
Vanessa kisses her then, slowly at first, chests brushing together.  
  
Charity grabs a fistful of Vanessa's hair, pulling her closer, biting down on her lower lip.  
  
Vanessa pulls away slightly, pressing her forehead to Charity's. Their breath mingles and their noses brush together, making Vanessa smile. A sigh of relief escapes her lips when she opens her eyes. Charity is already looking at her and kisses her softly, barely more than a brush of lips.  
  
She leans farther away, putting her hands on Charity's waist and tugging her blouse from her jeans, fingers drifting over the exposed skin.  
  
Charity looks scared, like Vanessa might run, might think this is a mistake after all. Like she's afraid this was a last goodbye and not a new beginning.  
  
Vanessa shuffles her knees backwards on the sofa and Charity looks even more afraid, even more vulnerable.  
  
She lowers herself, pushing Charity's legs apart, lying down on her, resting her head on Charity's chest, putting her hands around her waist, tightly grapping the silky material of Charity's green blouse. She breathes out a heavy sigh, releasing the tension she had felt tonight, the unease she had felt for weeks.  
  
"I love you Charity," Vanessa murmers, "I never stopped loving you." She laughs then, the thought of being able to stop loving Charity a silly joke, an unthinkable feat beyond her capabilities. "I don't think that's even possible," she admits, straining her neck, pressing a lingering kiss to Charity's neck.  
  
Charity's body still holds some tension, Vanessa can feel it when her fingertips press into Charity's curves. She knows she should put all her cards on the table, make it clear to Charity what she wants, what she'd like, if Charity would like that too.  
  
"I want to be with you ," she starts, her voice thick with emotion, "forever."  
  
Charity releases a shaky breath, entwining their legs.  
  
"I want to be your wife, I want to be a mum to Moses and to Noah, if he likes. I want to grow old with you and be grumpy old ladies together, moaning about the weather and about the kids never coming to visit."  
  
Vanessa pauses and strokes Charity's side, the tension from before gone, replaced by a relieved smile on her face. "If you want that to?" she adds, when Charity stays silent.  
  
Charity presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I can't think of anything better," she whispers, running her hand through Vanessa's hair.  
  
Vanessa lifts her head, smiling at Charity. She beams back at her with undisguised affection in her eyes.  
  
They both move forward at the same time, pressing their lips together. Vanessa wipes the tears from Charity's cheeks, feeling her own tears trailing down her face. She lays her head back down and closes her eyes, holding Charity tight, planning on never letting go again.


End file.
